Factory of Shit

This weekend we went to Factory of Terror. Let's just jump right into shall we?

Let's start with the line/outside attractions. I was very happy with these things. They had a vampire magician that went around performing tricks. There was also a zombie Slash walking about. He would bang on the Port-a-potties when people were going to the bathroom. It was hilarious. The most fun one can having waiting in line. That only covers the line to buy tickets. After you buy the ticket there is another line you wait in to go through the factory. This room was full of fun, but cheesy Halloween thing. There was an animatronic undead band that puts Chuck E. Cheese to shame. The music outside and inside were both mood setting, which was nice. There was a painting that would disappear and a skeleton would give this scary speech. I tried to take a picture of the talking skeleton, but when it took, it only got the painting....creepy.

Alas, all this set up and no delivery....Once inside, the only feelings I had were disappointment, angry, and annoyance.

First off. I like a theme or some sort of back story for my attractions. Just random shit isn't scary...there should be some sort of flow to these things. There was zero story to this place. There were several themed based rooms. Look we're surrounded by pirate skeletons....now we're in a butcher shop? Wait, now it's a jail? The fuck? This is a factory...why are there pirates in a factory? Ugh....

There were too many actors for this place too. Most didn't jump out at you. Most were just wondering around in silence. They would walk by you and just look at you. NONE of them talked. What's the point? Only a few jumped out at you, but they wouldn't get close to you and they didn't touch you or talk. Maybe they'd scream, but that didn't even happen all the time. They overall just became annoying. No one did anything original. Everyone acted the same way. Also their choice of using only young adults for their costume people was bad.

The spacing of the groups were HORRIBLE. Like the Haunted Forest walk at Trails of Terror, you get broken up into small groups to go through. Wouldn't you know it, we were at the VERY front of the group again.....but this only lasted about 3 mins. We ended up getting bottlenecked for most of the walk. It ended up being back to back people and moving at a snails pace. Nothing was scary at this point, because if someone was going to jump out at us, we'd see it FAR in advance since there were about 30 people in front of us. It also didn't help that there was a teenage boy (probably around 15 or 16) clinging to me the whole time in fear. Yeah that's smart kid, grab onto the gimp limping his way through the factory...I'm sure I can get you to safety REAL fast.

At one point we were in the "hall of nothingness." It was just a LONG hallway with nothing in it. Just a long line of single file guests since it was so narrow. This place too had the spinning vortex room. This must be a common thing. This one was a bit longer and even more disorienting. I'm always a big fan of it. I was also pleased with the music inside the factory...well at a particular place. It was very creepy. It was when you entered a room with a devil/angel skeleton hanging from the ceiling.

I think my biggest gripe though is just how short it was. For $20 I would expect at least two floors for scariness...but I guess it's for the best. I actually thought to myself that I just wanted it to be over...much like the remake of Halloween. Never a good sign. We were able to walk through the Factory, even backed up, in less then 15 mins. Boo...........Boo, boo, boo (This is not scary ghost noises, this is me booing the place).

Onto the stats:

Gore: 2/5 There was very little gore here. It was mainly just actors roaming and skeletons in various positions. Skeletons don't equal gore people...and not even scary.

Cheese: 4/5 I know I said too much cheese can be funny...but only if it's intended. Nothing here seemed at all authentic, but they were TRYING for it to be legit...Kinda like Snakes on a Plane. Would have been much better if they hadn't taken themselves so seriously. High cheese marks, but this is not a good thing.

Actors: 1/5 Bitch please. I crap scarier things then AND of these people here. At one point I scared one of the actresses. I stared her down until SHE ran away in fear. Unacceptable. No talking, and no jumping out. Also the costumes were shit. Why would the Crow be scary? He was a good guy. Go back to actor pool.

Gimp Friendliness 2/5 Well I knew it wouldn't be all that gimp friendly since I knew I'd be "walking" through the factory. I was pleased that they had hand railings on all the small stairways. Earns it an extra point.

Overall: 2/5 Thinking back on it after a couple days just makes me more angry. Waste of time and money. There's nothing scary there. All the cool stuff is BEFORE you enter. Stay away from this place. There are plenty of better places. I sum it up with one word: Boo.