Trails of Terror

Here we are at awesome Halloween time. I've taken it upon myself to go to as many Halloween attractions as I can this year in the RI/MA area. This weekend we went to Trails of Terror in Wakefield, RI.

So let's get to it. First off, as you walk to the ticket booth there's a bakery on your left. Cause what haunted forest walk would be complete without a bakery? Tickets were reasonably priced coming in at $18 for both the Haunted Hayride and the Haunted Forest.

My first complaint about this place is the sheer lack of mood music while waiting in line. Disco and novelty Halloween songs do NOT put you in the right mood for what's to come. Seriously, would it kill you to play something creepy?

The Hayride was pretty cool. I really have to give it up for tall blonde girl though. Our car got alot of attention because of her. I didn't catch your name, so I'll just call you Kate. She freaked out at EVERYTHING. She screamed alot and the actors payed her special attention for it. It was most hilarious. The actors DO touch you, so be prepared. That's right hot dead chick that grabbed my ribs, I know what you were doing. I'm more then just man meat for your dining pleasure.

What I liked about this Hayride over others was that it was themed....all the way through. Many places fall short on this. They start with an idea, but want to throw random things that don't belong there. This was Cirque de Slay. I also liked that there were internal speakers that narrated things. We actually stopped at the various spots instead of driving right through. There was this awesome mirror trick that the Ring Master has at the beginning, but I won't spoil it. I was afraid at first since the first stop was something REALLY lame. The guy didn't turn on his chainsaw (it was recorded sound) and the "blood" from the assistant was clear like water. You can imagine how this set things in my mind. Luckily everything got much better. The actors jumped in the car with you...the ringmaster actually started rolling around ON the people to my right.
This brings us to the Haunted Forest walk. This too was themed: Grim Fairy Tales. They break you up into small groups of about 10. They give you no direction on what to do, which adds to the creepiness. It starts you off all disoriented. You have to walk through a "vortex" that transports you to this magical land. It's a room where everything is spinning. I challenge anyone to be able to walk that path without holding on to the railings for dear life.

Unfortunately, Dio, Rossy, and I were in THE front of the group. This meant that I had to guide the group. Gotta say I was actually fairly spooked at that. Now I knew that I wouldn't be getting most of the scares since they'll wait for the majority of the group to enter an area, but there were several things that jump out in front of the person in front. When it's pitch black and no one is in front of you....damn it was fun. When we went into Hamlin, there were real rats...wonder how they got the permits for that. It was a nice touch.

I personally like to try to break the actors character or stump them somehow. By the end the whole group joined my way of thinking. Other then the first person we ran into, everyone was pretty unflappable. Think I really connected with the little dead girl in the graveyard. She introduced me to her daddy.....well his head anyway.

I was a little confused on some of the "tales." I got the piped piper, Hansel and Gretel, and little Miss Muffit, but I didn't know which fairy tale had a dominatrix.

Let's get to the ratings:

Gore: 3/5 Children do come to these things...in fact I think I was the oldest person around WITHOUT a kid with me. Thus the gore was toned down a bit. There could have been alot more.

Cheese: 2/5 Some cheese is good, but too much is funny and enjoyable on a different level. There were only a couple of incredibly cheesy things, but they were overshadowed by many cool thing. Sure the buildings look they belonged to a HS prop department, but damn that goat-devil thing more then made up for it. Low cheese is definitely a good thing in this case.

Actors: 4/5 Gotta give it up for the actors. They got up in your face...hell they'll touch your face. Most stayed in character and couldn't be shaken. They hired pretty people, and not just prepubescent boys.

Overall: 4/5 I thoroughly enjoyed Trails of Terror. Definitely worth your time and money. I would totally go back.

Remember that Bakery I told you about at the beginning? It's a very smart idea. And good prices.